Sunday, March 6, 2011

Lupe Fiasco says he almost killed himself while recording lasers

In a new, wide-ranging interview, rapper Lupe Fiasco dug deeper than usual when revealing his inspirations and journey to complete his much-anticipated record 'Lasers.' Speaking to Details, Fiasco said that he fell into a deep depression after initially submitting his album to Atlantic Records two and a half years ago and getting rejected for not knowing "how to do what Kanye does."

He dealt with that sadness on a track that is emerging as a standout on the final version of the new album. Entitled 'Beautiful Lasers,' Lupe raps, "If you feel like you don't want to be alive/ You feel just like I am." He remarked that he did in fact contemplate killing himself at that point "to keep from killing somebody else." Lupe also said that making his third studio album wasn't easy. "The creation of 'Lasers' was a very painful, dark, f---ed-up process," he admitted.

Notably, the admission of depression and suicidal feelings has long been prevalent on hip-hop tracks but rarely discussed in public until recent cases like Fiasco's. Last year, Kanye West admitted to feeling suicidal after the media scrutiny surrounding his public meltdown at the 2009 MTV VMAs. Before that, The-Dream said that he seriously considered ending it all during his separation and then public divorce with wife Christina Milian.

"That was the tipping point. It was less about the bruised ego but more the audacity of it. It was mentally destructive. I say it with a certain laissez-faire now because I’m past it, but back then, hearin’ that s**t, it f**ked me up. I was super-depressed, lightly suicidal, at moments medium suicidal – and if not suicidal, willing to just walk away from it all completely.”

“I hate this album. I don’t hate the music, but I hate the process. When I look at it, I don’t see song titles and artwork, I see the fight – I see the emotions, the blood, sweat and tears. There are a couple of songs on there that I love; but Lasers is a little bit of what you love, a little bit of what you like, and a lot of what you had to do."

I personally love this album. I think it is well polished mainstream hip hop album. However after reading parts of the interview you would think that the album would be a lot deeper and darker. You can tell on kanye's m.b.d.t.f. that he was in a very dark place on some of the tracks.

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